It's about survival

Well -- I survived my first round of exams. I guess just a few reflections on exams and med school in general...

Before I came home I wasn't sure if I should be going to medical school. Not that I didn't think I could do it . . . I wasn't sure. And I wasn't sure if this was the path that God desired for me. Despite Pastor Larry's advice for me to continue seeking that out -- I didn't do that at all. But I really did believe him when he said that he thought I was meant to be here. I just didn't want to accept it. So all throughout the summer I feel like I kept my distance with God. Healthy or unhealthy -- I'm not sure if it was good or unnecessary. Sometimes people just need space. I don't know.

One of the reasons that I didn't think that I should go to medical school was because my relationship with God has ALWAYS suffered whenever I was doing well in school. I think in a lot of ways -- during undergrad I tended to idolize academics. It's an easy trap that we all tend to fall into. Avoid God when we don't have time for him. Go to him when we need him. Stand at the side when we're doing just fine.

But during this exam period -- I feel like I really felt a lot of spiritual growth -- which goes against my previous notions about academics and my relationship with Jesus. I saw God answer my prayers, calm my anxieties...I swear that one morning he actually woke me up so I could prepare for exams. I'm not sure if it's exact confirmation -- that I'm meant to be here. But it's definitely a step in the right direction.

So praise the Lord. Hallelujah. :). Thanks for your prayers :).