and it isn't like I really should. But I really do feel like screaming when people are intensely interested in what I do at work and then when I tell them they are so disappointed or they think I didn't do anything, etc etc etc. I desire so much for people to ask me the right questions, but I feel like it's so rare. I wish people would ask me more not about what did I do at work today, but how did I see God at work today? Or how did God work in me/through me today? or How did I see God work in the people around me today? No one really cares that I made a spreadsheet to organize a list of names today. I don't really care so I don't really understand why anyone else would. Isn't it so much more interesting to know that God showed His love to a co-worker today?
I feel like for the past few weeks...... no, ever since Pastor Larry came to speak at large group, the only thing I have really been doing is celebrating, rejoicing at God's goodness and God's character. It's nothing of what I've been doing but everything of what God's been doing. But I feel like people don't really care what God's doing, especially non-Christians, and then I just have nothing to talk about because I don't actually do anything. And then people get mad at me for not talking.
And so in those situations I find myself red-lining. And I just can't stop myself from doing that even though I know that's exactly what I'm doing.
I'm about 50% sure of where this is coming from but it's not from somewhere immediate, because things have been good as God has been so good :)
I gave up coffee this week, cold turkey. I literally want to die. It's so scary to know how dependent I have become, and I really don't remember being this tired in my entire life. Tomorrow and Thursday are going to be ridiculous in terms of my work schedule, but if God is truly my strength and I truly believe it, then I don't need to worry. My prayer request is that I will be able to pray it and claim this truth for my own, and know that I have already received it.
I'm praying for you guys and sending lots of <3 your way (hopefully)---
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You can always tell us the awesome things God is doing in your life. We're all ears.
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my mock-med-school interview, I remember getting really frustrated with my interviewer because his english wasn't perfect, so he would ask me questions in a weird way. I knew what he was trying to ask, but I'd always been taught to answer the question that is being asked. At one point he asked me what I'd done at BMC as a Child Life Specialist and my reply was, "Actually I assisted a Child Life Specialist." I think that this went back and forth for about 2-3 minutes -- each time he asked me about my role as a Child Life Specialist and each time I tried to clarify that I was not a Child Life Specialist. Then he told me that in my interviews I need to answer questions properly and be more direct or I would surely not get into medical school. It was really upsetting...
ReplyDeleteI do have a point...eventually...
So I talked to my Mom later and she told me that a lot of interviewers don't know how to ask questions. They know what they're asking, but they don't know how to ask it right. And their job isn't to ask the question right. Their job is to find out more about you. And your job as an interviewee is to figure out what they want to know -- and tell them, regardless as to what words actually are coming out of their mouths...
So...point: I think that's true with people. Asking the right questions is a gift. It's a rare gift. I think I've met TWO people in the world who know how to ask the right questions at the right time. Sometimes -- I think that we're called to just stick our foot in the door. Sometimes... we can't wait for the right question because then we could be waiting forever. Sometimes we just have to plow ahead and tell people our exciting news. It's hard -- because you feel like you don't know their limits -- but you figure it out after awhile.
But praise the Lord Kristal that so many awesome things are going on your life that you just have amazing things to share. That's awesome.
Love you!
God be with you. Especially with the going cold turkey part =o...I am currently downing at least 10 cups of Americanos/coffee per week. This is the sad extent of "survival."
ReplyDeleteBut praise God for what He is doing in your life! And for what is to come (for all of us).